I get a lot of e-mail. I also get a lot of WEIRD e-mail. But yesterday’s fanmail takes the cake. I’ll copy and paste the original message below for you to peruse. Let’s just say I was blown away by how dedicated my cum-loving admirer is in reaching his personal goals. You probably will be disgusted by the pics but they’re proof for Mr. Anonymous’ claims. I’ve seen plenty of frozen and thawed cum in the last 5 years to know that this is for real. So without further ado, I present to you what might just be the most extraordinary e-mail I’ll ever get:

Hi Britney, I send you pictures and videos of the cum I have collected for almost 2 years. I often clean it through a strainer to keep only the clearest part, I get rid of the thick bits. It’s a 2 liter bottle and it should be full by september. I usually masturbate 3 to 4 times a week, if you multiplate by 500 days, you’ve more that 1500 loads in there! Tell me what you think of it?

A screenshot of Mr. Anonymous’ hands-free cumshot video. Quite impressive.