Obviously, this is all tongue-in-cheek and I’m just quoting. This stuff is pretty funny to read, but please don’t go trying this at home without prior consent from your loved ones, ok?

1. Teabagging - As you are sitting on a girl’s face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water.
2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
3. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
4. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.
5. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl’s ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
6. The Rodeo - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl’s name. This gives you the feeling of riding in a rodeo as she tries to buck you off.
7. Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers deep into her butthole, then reach around and wipe the residue on her upper lip, providing her with a fake mustache.
8. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off while you’re on the shitter. (Blumpkin pics)
9. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
10. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You’re ass is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.
11. The Twinkler - when you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick into mouth hard, and you watch her a-hole “twinkle” as she gags.

1. Raiders Of The Lost Arse
2. Scrotal Recall
3. The Empire Strokes Black
4. Porn on the Fourth of July
5. Shaving Ryan’s Privates

6. To Drill a Mockingbird
7. Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
8. When Harry Ate Sally
9. Pocahotass
10. Weapons of Ass Destruction

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1. Night of the Giving Head
2. Mary Shelley’s Yankin’ Mine
3. Fagnolia
4. Fill Bill
5. Gangbangs of New York

6. Glad-he-ate-her
7. Goodfellatios
8. Lawrence of a Labia
9. Missionary Impossible
10. ET: The Extra Testicle

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1. 28 Gays Later
2. A Rear and Pleasant Danger
3. An Officer in a Gentleman
4. Ball the President’s Men
5. Ben-Hur Over

6. Big Trouble in Little Vagina
7. Black Cock Down
8. Close Encounters of the Sperm Kind
9. Das Booty
10. Done In 60 Seconds

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1. You’ve got Windows on your laptop.
2. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
3. Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…
4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

6. Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant!
7. You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary.”
8. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
9. I see you have an opening in senior management.
10. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

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You think these are over the top? Then google a list of the actual names.

1. Bukkakchu
2. Jigglybutt
3. Herpekachu
4. Bongbuzz
5. Rastamon

6. Fartachu
7. Botox
8. Suckjobee
9. Tracilords
10. Swallowit

Here’s a list of Don’ts for a change. We all know about the Dos, right? Do swallow. Kneel properly. Wear heels. Deepthroat if you can. Keep eye contact. etc.

1. Chew gum
2. Snore
3. Smoke
4. Talk (unless spoken to)
5. Pray

6. Eat Thai food
7. Sneeze
8. Point out lint on the cock
9. Blow into the pee hole
10. Pretend you’re playing clarinet while humming a tune